Wonderful memories in an amazing land...

The last week that it has been since I last posted has been pretty eventful for me. I have been quite busy with friends and family and just truly having a great time while being back home. As expected the time has been going by quicker and quicker, but as the time draws near I feel I am more mentally prepared to leave again than when I first arrived on leave. In many ways I'm actually looking forward to it. My close friends with whom I have spent all day every day with in some of the most trying days of my life are where I will be heading and I do miss them. I am looking forward to being able to swap stories, to share with them all that I have done, and to hear the stories of life as it went on in Iraq. It will be difficult to say goodbye to many people that love and care for me here, but they understand that it will not be too much longer until all of this madness is over and I can return to this wonderful land for good.

One thing that I was able to to while on leave was to get a new tattoo that I have been looking at getting for several months now. The last tattoo I got was a couple days after I turned 18. I won't even bother putting up a picture of that one because, well, its pretty pathetic, especially now with this new tattoo. I had a design that I liked and a buddy of mine, Redd, took that design and redid it and I think he did an amazing job. This new tattoo, a sweet tribal design, stretches from my shoulder, down my arm, to just above my elbow. It took the better part of 5 hours, and YES, in some parts it did hurt, or well stung really bad. But once it was done I was stoked about it and I couldn't of asked for much better! I've uploaded a picture of it, so please forgive the farmers tan. ;)

Friday evening I ended up heading to a local elementry school with a friend of mine to help out with their Halloween Open House thing they had setup. Everyone was dressed up and so I went with the lazy man outfit and I dressed up as an "Overworked Underpaid Government Worker." Or as some would ask by my outfit, "Are you in the Army?" Hahaha, ok I thought I would just have some fun with it. Anyways I had finally just adjusted to wearning civilian clothers and so wearing the military uniform was a little different, but it felt good too. I had the chance to talk with many people and received a lot of support from complete strangers. It was also an amazing experience to be able to help out with these kids. I was having a blast joking around with them and just enjoying the evening. It was extremely crowded but it surely hit home with me the beauty and opportunity that we have available to us in our country. Quite a change from the last holiday I came from in Iraq, Ramadan.

This morning I had a chance to go to church with one of my friends and her family. I have attended this church service on many occassions and they have always made me feel at home. They have been a huge support during my entire military tour, especially during this deployment. I have received many letters from members of the congregation and to be able to see many of the people who have been offering thier support and prayers while I was home was a great feeling. I cannot wait to attend again once I am back for good. I know with the amount of prayers that they are sending that we definatly have Gods attention on us, and that gives me comfort.

So on the subject of Iraq, I had noticed that for pretty much the first week of being home I hadn't heard a single thing on the news or radio about Iraq. Now granted I wasn't sitting and watching the news all the time, but I figured I would of heard something in that time. I guess the fact that things have quieted down, there is no "news worthy" stories. How sad. Unfortunatly yesterday I finally heard some news on, well, Afghanistan actually. It pains me to think about it, but a soldier with his home in Phoenix, AZ was killed durring combat along with another soldier from Oregon. This news report came after a quick story on the return of 150 AZ National Guard soldiers. It hit home when they reported on and showed the reactions of the soldiers to the fact that one of their own would not be returning with them. I felt for them as myself and the guys in my unit know all too well what this is like. I'm just glad that so many of them DID make it through. I can only hope for the same with my unit as well as all the guys that are serving overseas right now.

I have read of others experiences of being back home and I wondered how frequent the common questions I hear people get asked truly come about. You know, the "What is Iraq like?" or "Have you killed anyone?" I've managed to answer the first one with just as vague of an answer that seems to satisfy people. I simply say, "Well, Iraq is.... Iraq!" But its the second of these questions that I have had a difficult time dealing with. I made the mistake of sharing from a story that pertains from this exact question, and well, as expected the reactions were not something that I was used to dealing with. I have decided that I will no longer tell many people, at least face to face, about this experience. The hardest thing though now is how to answer that question. I mean, do you REALLY want to know? I don't want people to look at me differntly for experiences that I've had in Iraq, but I have a feeling it is something that I am going to have to accept. No one that has been there will truly be able to completely understand many of the experiences from that place. I can totally see where others in the past have talked about only being able to truly share completely with those who have experienced the hell that is war.

Durring the past week and a half I have had several experiences that had me take a step back and think about how spending the last 10 months of my life in Iraq, a place unlike anywhere or anything I have ever done before, has affected my perceptions and my mentality while here at home. The first of these occured the other day while I was sitting in my hotel room. It was the middle of the afternoon and I was sitting in my bed watching TV when all of a sudden I heard two successive gun shots from somewhere out my window, a little ways off. I immediately jumped up and ran to the side of the window and pushed the curtain out of the way. I began immediately scanning the business district behind the hotel I am staying in. I was scanning the typical places, rooftops, windows, near vechicles, and people that I saw moving around. I realized that I was unarmed and in the moment that I was about to grab for my gun, it slapped me in the face that I was NOT in Iraq. I continued to scanning for a few more seconds before I pulled myself away from the window and took the time to reflect on what the hell was going on inside of my head. I knew by looking that I wasn't in Iraq, but for those brief moments that I was initially scanning out the window, I felt almost as if I was in that type of enviroment. I figure this is to be expected initially, but it was a surreal feeling. Its amazing how your brain can become conditioned to something so well that it immediately snaps into what it has been trained to deal with.

Another of these incidents was after seeing the horror movie "30 Days of Night." I won't tell you about the movie, because I think if you enjoy horror movies you should definatly see this one. It was an intense movie. By far one of the bloodiest, gorey and thrilling movies I've seen. The thing was that this movie really had me on edge. Just as most horror movies do, they build things up, set the scene where you have the feeling and knowing that something is about to happen, and then just like that they hit you with the right music and extremly loud shocking sounds and instantly you are terrified for a brief period of time. Then it goes on you begin to calm down and the process begins again. This movie did this over and over and over again, and by the end it had really gotten inside of my head and I was partially terrified and totally on edge. I was talking with the girl I went with on the way back to the car and on the ride home and I was trying to explain to her about why I was so on edge because of it. I feel it has to do with how similar the horror movie experience is to combat. When things go bad, its just the same, you feel it and you know it, and then just like that, still totally taken by suprise you are in a totally fearful situation. And it goes in waves, just like the movie. I think being put in a similar type of experience as that just put my brain in a combat like mentality and there wasn't much I could do about it. It took me some time, but I finally came back from being so on edge. It was quite the experience, and I decided that as much as I love horror movies, I may stay away from them for a brief period of time once I return!

Well this is turning in to quite the long post so I will finish up with this last experience. Just a short time ago the Boston Red Soxs defeated the Colorado Rockies to sweep the World Series. At the begin they began as they always do by singing the Star Spangeled Banner. I don't know what it was about it, but it had me completely emotional. It wasn't that the singing was that fantastic (although it was very good) but I believe as I was listening to the words, I began really thinking about things. About my life for the past 10 months, about my life for the next 4 or so when I return to Iraq and also I was thinking about the beauty that is America. We have such an amazing country and it is something that I have had my eyes opened to even more than before. I love our country, what it stands for and what we do as a people. I am so greatful to be able to live in such a great nation. As I thought about all, heard the beautiful singing, the roar of the crowd and saw the HUGE American flag, it all hit me at once and thankfully I was alone, because I was on the verge of tearing up. So many emotions that I just hold back during the normal course of my life lately all came up to attack me at once. Emotions that let me know I am so proud to be an American!

Being home is..... different

I have to start off by saying that I am loving being back home. I've been having a great time so far, and I still have much more fun stuff planned in the next week or so that I will be back. Shoot, the Arizona State Fair is in town and I still have yet to go to that! I can't wait, because I hear that they have 14 new rides, bringing the grand total to sowhere around 75. I haven't had the chance to go to the fair in years, because the time when it is normally in town I had been stuck in NC thanks to the Army. So its a nice suprise to have the fair in town and I will definatly be hitting that up here soon.

Time at first was going VERY slow. The first 4 days seemed like over a week to me and I was excited at the possibility that my leave would take so long to pass. Now things seem to be going by quicker and with the different plans that I am trying to juggle and make work with the limited number of days I have left, it feels like there is just not enough time. The past 3 days have flown by and I dont like that. I don't know if its a shift in my perception or attitude or what, but I want things to be back how they were; taking forever!

I won't go in to all the little details of everything I've done while I've been back so far, but just know that I am truly have a great time. This is by far the best leave that I have ever had while in the Army and I'm stoked that things are going so well. One thing of note is that I ended up buying a handgun a few days ago. I'll throw up a picture, but it sure is a sweet peice of work. Ironically the state of Arizona put me on a delayed hold to get my gun, so it took 4 or 5 days until I was actually able to pick it up. In case anyone is wondering what kind it is, its a Sig Saur 229 .40 S&W!! Its funny because I had never fired a handgun, not even with the Army and so when I went to test fire it, I was pretty much figuring things out as I went. I had them explain some things to me quickly, but I didn't want them to think that I had never done this because I was afraid they would not let me shoot off some ammo on the range. Anyways, once I got everything figured out I had a blast with it and much to my suprise my shooting was pretty dead on. This was also the first time that I had ever fired any gun outside of the Army, and this purchase was my first firearm purchase. I definatly think I made a great first purchase though and I'm loving it! Its just too bad I can't bring that bad boy back to Iraq with me! :)



Being on leave I've had a lot of time to appreciate all the little things in life and about being back home that I took for granted before in my life. The place looks so beautiful and clean and safe and its just such a change from where I have been living for almost the past year. It is absolutely amazing to be back in such a wonderful place again you have no idea. But one thing that I had thought might bother me when I thought about coming home has in a way done just that. What I figured before I left to come home was that seeing everyone going about their daily lives, with not a care in the world might irk me a little bit. And to be honest it has.

Now don't get me wrong, I dont have any feelings of hatred or anything like that, but I guess it kind of bugs me that the general public has "turned the channel" on the Iraq war. The war has been going on for almost 5 years, and even longer for the war in Afghanistan, and I believe with the attitudes of a lot of the people in Congress and the Main Stream Media, that people have had plenty of reason to feel the way they do towards this war. The problem for me is that life over there is hell at times. We do what we do thinking about back home, and thinking about the difference it makes for the people in Iraq, back home, and around the world, and to come back and see people going about their daily lives, tuned out to the war that is going on, well, it just puts a knot in my stomach sometimes. I mean, I guess I should be happy, that people are able to go about their lives in such a manner, to where they don't have to "worry" about the war, but I think the complete general disconnect between the American people's lives and the lives of those fighting to protect just that is what gets to me.

Trust me too in that I know not everone is like this. I mean, those of you who are even reading this right now show me that there are people, lots of people who do care and who are truly thankful and interested in what the soldiers, sailors, airmen and marines are doing over there. I don't want to wrap up everyone within the blanket of feelings that I have from the previous paragraph, but I do feel that those people are the vast majority of the people in America today. I've even heard some very hateful things coming from the mouths of people in positions to influence the masses that just truly pisses me off.

It makes me wonder sometimes. But thinking back, I guess I should be thankful. I read about and see video and pictures from the 60's and 70's and the things that the soldiers of that time and that war had to deal with when coming home was 100,000 times worse. I have to tip my hat to those guys for they are great men to of come through all of that. I can only imagine how tough that must of been, and in retrospect maybe its really not all that bad now. We do have the support of most Americans, as soldiers, even if they do not support George Bush or the war. But something about it still just sits weird with me.

Welcome Home!!!

WOW! Let me start off by saying how awesome it is being home. I can't believe how much I missed "normal" life and all that comes with it. I have to admit that it is still a little weird being back. I look at myself in civilian clothes and it feels like I'm dressing up for Halloween or something. Getting used to traffic, and just being in civilized world is definatly an experience.

Arriving in the United States after hours upon hours of flying was a great feeling. When we landed at Dallas Ft Worth Airport we received a welcoming that I would not of expected. First as our plane was taxiing from the runway to our gate the Dallas Fire Deparetment was out there and wanted to show their appreciation for the troops returning home. What they did was something amazing and unique. It is called the "Shower of Affection." They brought 2 fire trucks out there that shoot the jets of water out the front and sprayed towards each other creating this arch of water that our plane drove through. We were all amazed on the plane and it was an awesome show they put on! If anyone from the Dallas fire department happens to read this, I want to say thank you for that!!

Once we got to our gate and we got off the plane as we came out in to the airport there were a couple hundread people cheering for us with signs of appreciation! It was almost overwhelming! There were so many people and it sent tingles down my spine to hear the cheers as we walked by. There were many many vets there to shake our hands and say thank you. I couldn't believe it. It was awesome to have them there I must say. I wanted to thank them instead of them thanking me but they wouldn't have it. And there were just SO many of them. They had "welcome home" type of care packages and everything. People with lighters and cigarettes and food and water and cellphones for guys to call home. It was amazing. I didn't expect anything like that for our return home and it was wonderful!

I had about 6 hour layover before I could go home to Phoenix. I tried getting an earlier flight but they were all booked. I linked up with a guy from the 3rd ID that was going to Phoenix as well and we just chilled until our flight time. About an hour before our boarding time we ran in to this awesome man and woman and they invited us in to the First Class Lounge which was very nice of them. We sat in there and enjoyed the ammenities before we finally boarded our flight home. Once home, we both rented rentals cars and got amazing deals on them from the people working there. I rented a 07 Chevy Trailblazer and I'm loving it! :)

So far the past 3 days that I have been back have been truly amazing! I've had a great time and have had the opportunity to spent time with my family and some amazing people so far. Im absolutly loving it. One of my friends from Bragg and Iraq came to Vegas for a few days of his leave to visit some family, so I said screw it and made the 5 hour drive up here and currently I am in Las Vegas!!! My is this place amazing and a culture shock from what we just came from. We went down the strip last night and all the lights and people and energy was intense. Its crazy to think that just over a week ago I was walking through the streets of Baghdad, and now I'm walking down one of the most famous, high energy, amzing streets in the world. Its all still so crazy to me!

We ended up heading to the stratosphere which looks just like the seatle space needle and went to the top to ride the thrill rides up there. I'll include some pictures (i didn't take them) of the rides we rode in order of the ones I talk about. We did them late at night so just imagine some of these pictures at night with all the lights of Vegas and just the added fear of night! It was awesome and some of them definately scared me. The first one we rode was called the "Big Shot" which basically shoots you about 100 feet in the air and then immediately drops you down almost the same, giving you a good couple seconds of weightless, gut in mouth feeling! It then bounces up and down giving you similiar feelings, but not as intense as the first shot. What makes all these crazier is they are already on top of the stratosphere which is already I believe, 109 stroies high!! The second ride we did was called "Insanity" and it is just that. It has these arms that at the end of each seat two people, 5 arms total on the ride. Once everyone is in, the railing on the side of the structure goes down and this contraption roates off the side of the building suspending you high above Vegas. It then begins spinning and as it spins the arms move outward so that you are facing straight down at the ground 110 stories below spinning around. It was so scary yet so much fun! The thrid and final ride we went on was called "Xscream!" I thought this would be scarrier but it wasn't as bad as I though. Basically you get in this roller coaster looking thing and it shoots you off the side of the building on this short track and stops you rapidly creating the feeling like your flying off the side of the building. Me and my buddy got to sit in the very front seats so it was quite the experience and view. All three rides were awesome and I enjoyed them much. Again see below for the pictures.

Well, I'll go ahead and wrap this up for now. I should be heading back to Phoenix tomorrow or the next day, but know that I am doing good. The only thing I don't like about being home is the fact that now I don't want to go back to Iraq. I don't like thinking like that, but its how I feel. I don't know if I can speak for other people on this, but this is how I looked at things. While over there, its not that I persay forgot about home and what its like, but I definatly held it in lesser of a reality than it is right now. The greatness of America and all that we have seemed so foreign to me, and in a way it allowed me to be able to do my job effectively. I had no problem going in to dangerous situations because it was if I felt that Iraq was all I had at that present time and the idea of not making it home was no all that horrible to me. If you've seen the HBO series "Band of Brothers" theres a part where this one LT says the best fighters are able to do what they do because "they realize that they are already dead" and thats what allows them to fight the way they do. I pretty much held that idea in my own head and it made me not fearful of the situations in which I was entering. But now, after being home, I see all of what I would be missing out on and I realize that I don't want to loose all that. I want to be able to come home to it all and enjoy it for many many more years of my life. I want that for everyone!

What a wonderful day...

Well today started off with me waking up at 0700 in the morning. Considering I have not been working and have nothing to due but waste away on the internet or playing games or watching movies, my sleep schedule has been all wacked and I have been staying up late. This is no suprise to me though. Well late last night/this morning my old squad leader came back in off of leave. The reason I refer to him as my old squad leader is due to some shifting and changes that came about within our company within the past couple weeks while he was on leave. Ill talk about that another time. Anyways, he ended up stopping by and we ended up talking and whatnot for a while and by the time I finally went to bed I believe it was somewhere around 0300. Needless to say I was pretty tired when it came time to get up.

We woke up and I had to get a nice uniform ready because the reason we were getting up is so that we could attend a ceremony to receive our CIB or Combat Infantrymans Badge. The CIB is a distinctive combat badge that is of course only worn by Infantry soldiers. It is something that every Infantryman looks forward to receiving one day for it means that you have been through the ultimate test in your profession; to handle yourself while under enemy fire. What the CIB represents an experience that all owners will take with them for the rest of their lives, as combat proven Infantryman. Others that see the CIB will know that you've probably seen some shit that they wouldn't care to, yet you volunteered to do.

The thing is that when I get to thinking about it, and I think back to the soldiers of WWII and Vietnam, I realize that in retrospect I really haven't done shit compared to what they have. To them a CIB meant fiercing fighting for days and weeks on end. Countless lost friends, soldiers and years of their lives fighting a determined and tough enemy. My experiences here are nothing like that. Although according to the criteria for the award, I have earned it in every respect. Something that is not always true for many people that come over here. I have been shot at on countless occassions and had the opportunity to fire back and engage the enemy on most of those. I've spent the past 9 months in a hostile combat zone, with an active enemy, living and working everyday in harms way.

But am I really a trial by fire tested combat Infantryman. Would I of handled myself in the same way that those that had come before me would of. I would like to think so, but I will probably never know. This is probably a good thing, and I should be thankful that I don't have to experience that, but it just gets me thinking about the meaning of the badge I will be wearnig. Don't get me wrong. I will wear my CIB proudly and am honored to of been able to serve my country and to help in what ways I could to the Iraqi people. For that I am forever greatful to of been given that opportunity, and will carry those memories with me for the rest of my life.

So with that said, we have official been given our CIBs. Now its just a matter of paperwork to get to us, but after all these years of waiting and wondering if I would get mine, I finally have. As an added bonus to the days celebrations, I got word that my flight out of our FOB here and my 1st leg of my journey home will begin a day early, and in not too long from now, if all goes well, I should be on my way out of here! I still haven't packed tho. I am incredibly lazy I know. Im going to go do that as soon as I finish here actually.

I was watching a movie earlier, and 1/2 way through I paused it to go have a smoke when all of a sudden like a ton of bricks it hit me and I got butterflies and a very giddy feeling. I AM FINALLY GOING HOME!! For the longest time it had been something that seemed so far off, and even as it got close it really didn't feel like it was close. After 9 months, 1 week, and 1 day straight in this place, I am finally getting a much needed break. I can't wait. Just know that I probably will not have much to post for the next few days, but I do plan to keep a few posts coming while I am home. So wish me luck!!

The sky is falling!!!

Well, after almost 6 months (sorry I'm not exactly sure of the last day this happened) a miraculous event has happened, it finally "rained" again. Now, I wouldn't quite call it a rain, but there were definately water droplets falling from the sky. Everyone was excited to finally see some rain again. After the months of dry, dusty weather; suffering through 120+ degree days, this rain on top of the cooler weather is the final sign that we have survived the brutal summer here. Fall is quickly approaching and along with it, beautiful weather. Unfortunately I will be back in the US during most of the great weather, but thats ok, I'll be enjoying myself there. By the time I get back here to Iraq, the weather will probably still be good, but will be on its way towards something I hate even more than 120 degree days; COLD! And in Iraq, the rainy season takes place during the winter, so it will be quite miserable for me. Fortunately the winter shouldn't last near as long as the summer, so it will be a short lived torture.

One thing with the last patrol that I went on is that we ended up having to swing by the Green Zone for something, but this time we headed to a different area that we hadn't been before. As we were driving along, all of a sudden off in the distance we saw the famous Crossed Swords statues from Sadaams war with Iran. We had no clue they were actually this close and after we did what we did, we ended up swinging on by to snap a few pictures. Man, if theres one thing about American soldiers, we sure love to take our pictures, even during times when the last thing you would think someone would do is take a picture! I put up a funny one of me as my new picture on the left side of this page, and I'll throw up one more of me and my team standing beneath the swords.

(Left to Right) Rifleman, ME, Automatic Rifleman, Grenadier

So this last rotation to our combat outpost was not the most pleasant. One thing that is pretty noteworthy is the fact that the one bad area that I always talk about, which has been erily quiet for the past couple months, has erupted during the end of Ramadan. Almost every day or night that we were out at the outpost, we could hear firefights raging in that wasteland of a neighborhood, including one which unfortunately involved guys from our company. I know in my previous posting I didn't give much detail, but just know that everyone is alive, and those injuried are recovering well, at least from the progress reports I've received from other people.

The sad thing about all of this is that I was actually starting to believe that maybe the whole peace process that had been going on in that area was working. Apparently I was wrong, although during the early stages of this process, I had felt it was a waste of time and that these people did not want peace. I should of stayed with that initial intuition, because that is obviously how these people feel. And now, not only are they full of hate and religious preachings to compel them to martyrdom, but they seem to be freshly stocked up on everything they need to make our lives a living hell. The most worrisom of these are the seemingly endless supply of gernades they have available. The other night guys from our company were in there they were "throwing gernades like rice at a wedding" as one of my buddies was telling me. Even another night, when another firefight broke out that didn't involve any Coalition Forces, you could hear the explosions from the gernades one after another after another. All I can hope is that we find a good way to rid these people of their hate or to get rid of the ones that hate. I, as well as others, have our suggestions, but unfortunately our solutions wouldn't be quite the "politically correct" answers that for some god forsaken reason our Army is forced to obide by.

On another note, the Ramadan season has seemed to bring mortars and rocket attacks against our base with it. Just about every day they have been launching attacks. I really hate the rocket attacks because there is such a terrifying screech that comes just as the rocket is about to impact. So now, not only are you running for your life to try to find some cover, but your doing it with heavy shit filled pants. OK not really, but it definately is a scary sound. As far as I'm aware, there have not been any injuries due to any of these attacks. Lets hope the trend continues.

Well Ramadan, thank god, should be just about over here shortly. The 13th of October is the last day of Ramadan, and fortunately for me, I have no more patrols left to go on before I go on leave. Today, is actually the single worst day to be in Iraq because it is the 27th day of Ramadan. If you don't remeber me explaining this before, basically it is the day that most Iraqi's celebrate as being the holiest of holy days, the day that anything they do is magnified 10,000 times in Gods eyes. I technically could of gone out on patrol today since my flight for leave still isnt for a couple days, but that wasn't going to happen. There was no way that the last patrol I would go on before I was to go home on leave would be on the WORST day to go out. Fuck that. So here I am, chilling out, relaxing and trying to enjoy my time off, getting all of my stuff ready so I can come back to the good old US of A!

Fucking Ramadan! My rant...

Fuck this stupid "holiday" and the stupid belief that Allah, or God will bless those whole kill in their name. Screw their belief that there is some holy day, or holy month for that fact, where things they do are magnified 10,000 fold. What kind of religion has a holiday in which they encourage kids to carry around real looking toy guns and the pretend to shoot at Americans. These people are seriously wacked out.

Fuck feeling usless and helpless when right down the road your friends and fellow soldiers are in a fight for, literally their lives, yet theres nothing you can do about it. Sitting around with my thumb up my ass hearing about casualties here and someone killed here, yet continuing to sit on your ass. Why you might ask? Because we are not "needed." Because the battlespace is too crowded with vechicles that belong to huge elements for Majors and other S-Shop working people that have no fucking business being outside the wire, yet alone in a fierce gun battle. I'm sorry you didn't get your CIB in Desert Storm or working in the TOC, but now your risking the lives of people by taking up space when more real soldiers should be out there.

Screw the idea of peace with a group of people that love hate and love to fight. Fuck them for turning against us and taking the perfect opportunity to try to take us out. Screw those that put our guys in a situation like this, and sent them in not fully prepared to deal with what would come. Screw anyone who will sit back after this and not fucking respond swiftly and decisivly. These people are a cancer and they need to be removed. There is no hope for the people of this area; they have proven that time and time again. How long will we continue to sit on our asses and let these sick excuses for human beings exist right under our noses.

Paranoia...

OK so with my leave coming up just right around the corner, I figured I would talk about a phenominon of paranoia that seems to go around right before people get ready to head home on leave. Its something that I always laughed about, and even though I know its wrong, slightly played on peoples fear during this time! I know, Im a horrible person, but I guess Karma is a bitch and has come to stake its claim on me.

Basically heres the deal. Right before people are about to go on leave they try everything they possibly can to get out of heading outside the wire. The reason for this is due to a variation of short timers paranoia. They are worried that something might happen right before they are getting ready to head home. For this reason people tend to snake out of patrols and missions that take place in the last few days before they are to turn in their weapons and go on leave.

The thing is this is not a totally unfounded idea. See there is a perfect example of this fear being manifested in to reality in an incident that I was involved with many months ago earlier in this deployment. This was back when I was in my old squad and during the time when we still had the one bad area I used to talk about a lot. I'll make this a quick story, but you can follow this link to read about it more. We were on this mission to provide security for some engineers as they did some work. I was the TC (truck commander) for a vechicle with my automatic rifleman as a driver and a grenadier from the other team in my squad as the gunner of the truck. Anyways, the gunner was to be going on leave in like 2 days and this was his last mission to do. He had the paranoia that something was going to happen, and sure as shit it did. We had someone hop out of an alleyway and throw a gernade at our truck. Fortunately it did not go off for some reason, but it just solidified the reasons behind peoples paranoia.

Well like I said in the past few months when my friends would be getting ready to go on leave and would be experiencing the paranoia I would play on their fears and give them a hard time about everything. The content of our humor is not normal so I will not go in to the details. (those of you deployed now or in the past know what Im talking about!!) Anyways, I used to take pleasure in seeing them suffer in agony. I think there is a clinical disease for this, but whatever. :)

Well like I said, Karma has come back with avengence! Now as my time approaches, I still must say I'm really not worried. Definately not like some people have been. But the thing I realized is this, the last 10 days of Ramadan, which are the potentially the worst 10 days to be in Iraq as a US Soldier just so happen to be the last 10 days I have left before I go on leave!!! Hahaha, how awesome!?!? So yeah, now I've got the worry warts. Not a lot, but enough for me to be like damn, this sucks, what luck. Guess there really is a force that balances out the good and evil in this universe!

Welcome to Baghdad!

So theres one thing that I could never imagine and thats being straight out of basic training and coming right to Iraq. For me, it took almost 2 years in the 82nd before I finally deployed. Something that is almost unheard of, but thats to being in the wrong place at the wrong time, I ended up getting caught up in restructuring the division, and went places that kept me from deploying sooner. I was always bitter about this. One of my good friends from basic and airborne school got to Ft Bragg and 30 days later he was on his way to Afghanistan for 5 months.

Well the reason I mention this is because over the past several months we have had a few new guys come in to our company here and there. Our platoon had only received 1, but the other day we ended up getting 3 new guys. WOW! Well, time to start getting these guys up to par. My squad didn't end up getting anyone new, so most of the work of getting these guys trained up would be within their perspective squads.

They ended up heading out with us for their first time for 2 days outside the wire. For this patrol I was filling in for my squad leader who is on leave, so I was the TC (Truck Commander) which is always fun. Also when we dismounted I was to be one of the dismount team leaders. Well because the new guys don't know how to drive a Humvee yet or how to gun a machine gun properly, they ended up as extra passengers and thus became a part of the dismount team. This would be fun.

The first dismount these guys even went on would be a night dismount. I had one of the guys from my normal team and one of the new guys. I knew he would need extra attention so I would have to make sure and keep an eye on him. We ended up dismounting and heading back into the alleyways. It was more packed than normal since Ramadan is in full swing and during the day people can't eat or anything, so the night becomes the time for eating, praying and socializing. Fortunately for us, thats all it has consisted of, at least at this point almost 1/2 way through.

Anyways, we were walking through this one busy alley when all of a sudden I see this kid that couldn't of been more than 6 years old come out of another alleyway with a gun in his hand. He wasn't pointing it at us or anything, but the second I saw it my heart skipped a beat. He saw me notice him and ran back in to the alley he came out of, but then stopped a few meters in and turned back to look at me. Now I wasn't sure if it was a real handgun or a toy, but all I know is it looked pretty damn real. Once he stopped I began yelling at him to get away and go inside. Its not safe for him to run around like that, and I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that it was a toy. This is also common for all the kids to have toy guns at this time. Well new guy, this is Baghdad, you have to be ready to make split second decisions and be prepared for anything. I was thinking later that I don't know what I would of done if he would of fire the thing. I don't want to think about it.

We continued on and at one point we came to a road to cross. My team was in the back of the patrol and everyone in front began running across the street. I remeber thinking before we got to the road that there was going to be a car that wasn't going to stop. I dont know why I thought that, but sure enough once I began running across I noticed a car on the far side comming at us. I gave him a second but he wasn't slowing down, so I raised my rifle and clicked my tac-light on. For some reason it didn't look like it went on to me and I remeber thinking "Well damn what a great time for my batteries to die on me!" I guess it did actually go on, but I was oblivious to this. The car still was not slowing down so I shouldered my rifle and yelled at the top of my lungs. The car was getting close and I had just flipped my safety off and was a split second away from firing a warning shot when all of a sudden they slammed on the brakes screaching to a halt. Sheeew. All of this happened as the new guy was 1/2 way across the street and I can only imagine what he was thinking!

The rest of the patrol was uneventful and we ended up linking back up with the trucks tired and sweaty. The next night we ended up doing another dismounted patrol in a different area. Overall the patrol went pretty smoothly with the exception of constantly being told different directions on where to go. My team was up front this time and I was leading and we ended up stopping several times to turn around and go a different way. It wasn't that I was lost, because I knew exactly where I was going. Apparently those in charge kept changing their mind about where they wanted to go. Oh well.

Once we got back, myself and the dismount squad leader sat down with the new guys to go over the patrols and some other information. We explained a lot to them about what its like, what to expect and how to be. They seemed to be taking to it pretty well. They all mentioned that the first night they were overwhealmed and nervous, but the 2nd patrol it wasn't as bad for them. Thats good. Over time you will eventually figure out where to look and what to do and it wont be such an overwhelming experience. Overall they did good, better than I would of expected for a patrol of a bunch of new guys. Hopefully they continue to take to this quick and can integrate in to how we do things quickly.

We ended up coming back in, dirty, exhausted and ready to crash. It was a long couple days and my combined sleep for the previous 2 nights was about 8 hours. Thank God for 'Monster' engergy drinks!!

I so can't wait to go home!

Alright well it has been a few days since I've last made an entry, but know that is because I haven't really had much to write about. Lately things around here have been, well, completely quiet. Our lives have been completely boring and consist of nothing out side of our routines we do on a daily basis. Its mundane, but at least time seems to be passing fast. That I cannot complain about.

So today has been a very exciting day for me. The reason for this is that I have finally found out when I will be heading out on leave!! Its so close just a few weeks away and I'm so excited. I'm totally ready for a break from here and to go home and see my friends and family. The thing is lately I have not been able to stop thinking about being home and being on leave. I'm usually pretty good about not thinking about home much, but for the past week I have not been able to shake it from my mind.

It all started when we were still at the outpost. I was on guard shift up in one of the towers when another team leader who was on shift with me decided to stop on in. He happened to casually ask me "Do you ever think about home?" I proceeded to tell him that I didn't do so often, and we started talking about home and things that we missed. Well that on top of the fact that I knew my leave was coming up in the next month just added to me not being able to clear my head. It has been relentless ever since. I have been thinking about all the things I want to do and all the people I want to see, and places I want to go. So many things and so many ideas running through my head. I wish I could get them out. I don't like thinking about home all the time. I mean don't get me wrong, I like to think about people and home and whatnot, but it makes this place even worse. I've managed to get by with creating this false reality here that I live in. In my false reality, I've accepted in my head that this is my life and that it is not going to change. I have trained myself to believe that this is my life as I know it and for that fact it makes this place tolerable. Now that I am thinking about my life beyond here, it makes me see the bad in being in Iraq. I don't like that.

So I'm hoping that I can limit the amount that I think about home until I actually go on leave. Its so close thought that at this point I can almost taste it! I figure going back with be a nice break. It will allow me to recharge my emotions and mentality of being here and get me through the last 5 months that I will have here upon my return. In that regard it is a well timed leave I believe.

That's really about it lately. I haven't been outside on any mission since we returned from the outpost so nothing really exciting to talk about. I haven't been outside because I have been taking a "train the trainer" class here for a new system that we are getting for a few of our Humvees. It's been a pretty laid back class, the only dowside being I have had to do it during a few of my days off. Oh well, but its almost over and soon I will venture back in to the city of love! :)

Ramadan begins...

Alright well today is officially the start of the 3rd day of Ramadan. For those of you that dont know about Ramadan, it is the holiest of holy months for Muslims. It is a very important time to them, and towards the end of the month is the supposed date when the angel Gabriel gave Muhammod the texts to the Koran.

Here's what I've learned about Ramadan, part due to what the military has put out and part of what I've learned on my own. First off, the Muslim calander is based off of a lunar year, which is 13 days shorter than the normal solar year we use. Due to this fact the start of these holidays is sooner and sooner from year to year. This year, the begining of Ramadan began on Sept 13th. For the whole month the Muslims will fast during the daylight hours. They will not eat, drink or smoke, and if they see anyone doing that, it is extremely offensive to them. A very touchy situation for us because we have to be careful and try not to offend them.

Now this is an extremely holy time and it actually bans fighting, unless there is an actual war going on. Well this is a problem for us coalition forces, because well there IS a war and so they have every "right" during this time to attack us. The additional problem is that during this time the gates of Hell are closed and the gates of Heaven are opened. Anything they due during this time is extra holy, especially on the day (I forget the name) that the texts of the Koran were delivered. On this day anything they do in the eyes of Allah (God) is multiplied 10,000 times. The only problem for them is that they are not totally sure of what day it is. All they know is it is during the last 10 days of Ramadan and that it fell on an odd numbered date. Most people celebrate the 27th day, but many practice on all the days just to be safe. The problem comes for us, because if they were to kill an infedel or an occupier or whatever, it is like they killed 10,000 on this day. Also the potential for suicide bombers and people wishing to achieve martyrdom is greately increased.

So with all of that, during this time we need to be extra careful. In the past there is usually a spike in attacks against coalition forces during this time as would be expected. So for the next month we will be extra alert and on edge, prepared for anything that they may throw our way. I'm not worried, but that won't change my mentality. Be prepared for the worse. So far it has been completely uneventful. I haven't even heard any celebratory fire at all. But theres still 28 days to go. I'll keep yall posted.

So nothing really exciting going on around here. Just the same old boring stuff. Although the other night I was doing some shooting at the range at our outpost to make sure that my laser for my rifle was still sighted in properly. After confirming that it was, me an another team leader were bored and decided we wanted to fire an AK-47. We had a mag full of ammo, and so I went to the Iraqi Army (IA) guys and asked to borrow one of their AKs. We took that down to the range and had some fun, at 3:30am!!! :)

I had never fired an AK and had no clue what to expect. In fact I've never fired a gun outside of the military. Now the AK-47 fires a 7.62mm round, which is substantially bigger than the 5.56mm round that our rifles fire. Our rounds have more velocity and are more accurate, but they lack the stopping power of larger rounds. Where as an AK and its 7.62mm round definately has the stopping power needed in combat. So add the fact that its a bigger round and the technology in the rifle is not as advanced, especially when it comes to controlling the recoil and kick. All this together had me a little nervous what it would be like.

I ended up putting it on single shot fire first to get a feel for it. After the first round I realized that it wasn't that bad and fired off a couple more before putting it on to full auto. I squeezed off a few small bursts and it was AWESOME! There nothing like shooting a gun in fully automatic fire! After going through 1/2 the magazine I traded off to the other team leader and he finished it off. We ended up getting it all on video so that was cool and now I can officially say that I have fired an AK-47. Shoot I even fired it on full-auto! The experiences here at war are truely unique to anything I have and will ever experience.